So I got this email from Ryan the other because he "thought it was funny". Funny, my butt. It was a list of RULES that men have, since apparently, woman also have a set of RULES. Let me share a few of the ones that caught my attention:
1. Crying is blackmail.
2. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
3. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
4. Whenever possible, please say whatever you want during commercials.
5. Christopher Columbus did not need directions. Neither do we.
6. When we have to go somewhere, anything you wear is fine...really.
7. You have to many shoes.
8. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.
9. If we ask what is wrong and you say, "nothing", we'll act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.
10. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
So after much searching, I've found a few good rules to counter these absurdities. Take a look:
1. The correct answer to, "Do I look fat?" is never, "Yes".
2. A "meh" is seldom an answer to any question.
3. Don't assume PMS is the cause for every bad mood.
4. No means No. Yes means Yes. Silence could mean anything she feels like at that particular moment in time, and it could change without notice.
5. My haircut is never bad.
6. Two words: clean socks.
7. You can be wrong.
8. You can be sorry.
Take that men.
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