They've done it. IKEA has perfected their store.

Ryan and I ventured to Edmonton last week during FSJ's torrential down pour, and with that came our purpose for the road trip: IKEA. Ryan had never been there. NEVER. I questioned him. Please enjoy this short dialogue:

Whitney: You'VE NEVER been to IKEA? 

Ryan: Nope.

Whitney: I thought for sure you've gone with me at least once.

Ryan: You've invited me several times, but usually your dad and I get out of it with an excuse like, "We'll call Shaw and order UFC on PPV." OR "I ran out of beer."

(Notice how I don't realize that he's never been to IKEA with me, which means that I was paying too much attention to the furniture in my tunnel vision to disregard the fact that my husband was not accompanying me.)

Whitney: Hmm. Too bad. I think you'd really hate it. 

Ryan: Why would I hate it?

Whitney: Because it cramped and claustrophobic; therefore, you have to walk through the entire showroom to get to the exit. There's arrows on the floor. It's a bit like living vicariously through Hanzel and Gretel.

Ryan: Actually, you're wrong. A few years ago, IKEA was sued by a customer because they weren't able to find their way out of the store during a family emergency. They got lost, so they sued. They lost, of course, but now every IKEA has mandatory shortcuts throughout the whole showroom. 

(Please note: This quotation is about 98.76% word for word)

Whitney: Wow.

But I digress. We precisely arrived at 10 a.m. (I thought I'd break him in easy...avoiding the afternoon crowds and all) We found some great furniture, made decisions efficiently, and arrived at the IKEA cafe in approximately 47 minutes. Record time if you ask me. Before heading downstairs to fill up our cart with the desired items written on our shopping list, Ryan notices the menu.

"They serve beer?! This place is awesome!"

IKEA is not only perfect for the thrifty wives, but for the patient husbands, as well.