I bet you missed me dearly. I mean, REALLY dearly because I haven't blogged in awhile. You were probably really worried. Your thoughts mimicking similar to these: I bet she was so smitten with Isla, she left us all to never laugh again. OR She has banished writing between semesters in hopes to petition her future essays. Don't worry guys, the wait is over.

ANYWAYS, we are heading back to FSJ after a 9 days stay in Kissimmee, Florida AKA Disneyworld :D After touring many, many tourist attractions, some of which were incredibly educational, our heels are chaffed, our backs sore, and our eyelids, well, droopy. Although Christmas fell on one of the days of our stay and anticipation was building for Santa's annual arrival, I must say that Cinderella held my excitement with quite a grasp.

Since the first time I watched that woman transform into a princess via a cute, caped grandmother, a few mice with hats, and a couple-a birds, I was smitten. Ever since, I've wanted glass slippers, ball gowns, and I even enjoy housework from time to time. I would say that is the Cinderella Princess Trifecta! Which brings me to my exciting news: I MET HER. IN PERSON*.



















*Please withhold your superfluous comments about how you think I should know Cinderella is, in fact, not real. She IS real. I MET her. Deal with it.

Isla Grace

Hey everyone!! So, I've got some pretty big news, but I'm not going to tell you until later. Well, I guess I'll tell you a little. My sister-in-law was in labour for the last three days. Sick, right? Anyways, since I'm incredibly impatient, I had to use up some time. So I broke out the pencils and the sketchbook. This is what I came up with...
















Now for the big news.... drumroll, please.

I said DRUMROLL. That means tap your fingers on the keyboard in front of you until they hurt, then proceed.

I'm and AUNT!!!!

No big deal, really. KIDDING! HUGE DEAL :D

So after waiting out Carly's painstakingly long three day labour, Isla Grace has arrived! She entered our marvelous world at 10:51 pm (Fort St John time), she weighed 7 lbs. 10 ozs and was 19 inches long. She's healthy, happy, and has the infamous Friesen cheeks!

I can't wait to meet her! And since we're are headed to Florida for a week before I do so, I'm sure I'll be coming home with many a Disney wardrobe for this youngin'.

Pictures to come!.... in two weeks. :)

Well, you guys, I found my calling: secret spy. I don't know how I could've overlooked this obvious career in the past, but have no fear!

So you're probably thinking, "I obviously knew this was Whitney's calling for quite some time now, but how on earth could it have taken her so long to figure it out?" Well, I'll answer your question.

'Til now, I always thought I would have a typical career, like teacher, receptionist... possible stay-at-home mom, etc. But today, I realized I overlooked an entire cabinet of my capabilities. Spying capabilities, that is.

I got a Facebook message today from a worried mother of one of my very close friend depicting a concern of said friend's whereabouts. Now, since I'm the CAPTAIN of the worrier's team (yes, we have a team, and yes, my husband can vouch for my high ranking position of this team), I knew I had to break out the magnifying glass and dust off my memories of Inspector Gadget cartoons. Go Go Gadget Friend Finder! So I dawned my trench coat, which happened to be a free hoodie I got one year for doing the 30 Hour Famine, and picked up my co...inspector. We set out to find our Sarah: M.I.A.

Upon arriving at her apartment building, both myself and my co-inspector could not recall the most crucial clue to solving the case: her apartment number. However, a family was conveniently moving into the building, which, of course, entails many door opening and closings. After timing our approach to the security checkpoint (we'll call it that to add drama and suspense) perfectly, we entered through the threshold just as the courteous mother of the moving family held the door open to allow her dresser into the building.

After climbing the stairs, reaching our friend's door, and knocking 4 times, we waited. Clueless. (clever play on words, eh?). Cue Jeopardy music.

The door unlocked, opened, and there stood our friend, UNmissing in action. Turns out her phone was being stupid.

So as you can tell, we rock.

Operation Celebrate!

Guess what, guys?! It only took 7 days! (see previous post and picture below)

 
(forgive me for the backwards name, I love mirrored images on PhotoBooth)
So since my life is now awesome because it was proven that the government doesn't hate me as much as I thought after all, I have cause to celebrate. CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES, COME ON!

Also, let me remind you that it is a whopping 25 days 'til Christmas! (which I will be spending at the wonderful world of Disney this year. Yes, my brain may be able to process complicated rhetorical theory, but my heart is that of a ten year old in love with Cinderella) Another reason to celebrate! I've completed all but 2 gifts of my Christmas shopping this year before December, and I pride myself with that fact for your information. I'm one of those people who likes the holiday season to last as long as humanly possible because then it feels like my birthday comes faster :) 

On the note of Christmas shopping and last weekend's Black Friday (busiest shopping day of the year), I'll leave you with a joke made up by a wonderful lady that appeared on the Ellen show.

Do you know why they call Black Friday?

-Because people are mournin' the loss of their money!
Celebrate, people!


So as many of you know, I'm impatient. I'm also Canadian. Which brings me to my latest episode of 'finding the daisy among a giant stack of scentless chammomile' (if you will).

Before I venture into this next installment, I advise all future wives: Keep your maiden name OR Marry a man with the exact same last name as you (including the spelling). I take pride in my mother, in that she performed the latter.

The other day, Ryan and I took a bit of an adventure in an attempt to legally change my name on my Social Insurance Card for the second time. Thinking that this would be quick and easy (for some ODD and RIDICULOUS reason) we didn't have lunch before we left.

So after getting lost and redirected to the correct building (I only share this because normally, I'm wonderful with directions, but on this day I was hungry; therefore, throwing off my navigational abilities) we wound up downtown at the Service Canada office. SKETCH-FACTOR. We found ourselves a parking spot marked '2 Hour Parking**' thinking that we would have plenty of time.

**Please note this important time reference.

After entering the office at precisely 11:02 am, we talked to the receptionist, while she recorded my name and my business. She politely spewed her rehearsed speech in our direction: "Please, take a seat and your name will be called by one of our Service Canada agents." So we sit.

...and sit.

......and sit.

.........and SIT.

It is now 12:12 pm. "Whitney BIIIRRRONN!!" (because that's how you say "Braun" in Canada, obviously) The heavens finally opened.

Because the lady was so nice, she decided she would do us a favour by getting our $10 back that we weren't supposed to be charged for, even after I said in my frustrated-from-waiting-over-an-hour-while-my-stomach-eats-itself voice, "I really don't care about my $10. It's No. Big. Deal." But thankfully, because she was SOO KIND, her determination to get our money back possessed her to dial a man in Newfoundland. This said man then proceeded to screw up this wonderful service agent's computer information, causing her to lose my data and forcing her to start again. 12:27 pm ticks by.

After the reboot, which was completed by 12:36 pm, this lovely woman belched her federal courtesies to us in the form: "You're new Social Insurance Card will be mailed to you in 10-15 days."

So at 12:42 pm, Ryan and I escaped a parking violation by the hair on our chinny-chin-chin. Also, at this moment in time, I started to debate why my nationality was so very important to me.

(Please read this last bit in your best dramatic poet voice. It's best when recited aloud)

...BUT BEHOLD! Over yonder, the most beautiful brown, yellow, and red sign beckoned me towards its honey-glazed goodness!

Needless to say, I'm still very proud to be Canadian.

Let's see if I can say that 10-15 days from now.

Rewriting the Rewrite

Hey guys! Do you ever get that feeling where your fingernails feel like they've been rubbed up against a chalkboard for the past hour creating a jarring sound of doom and now your ear drums want to give up on life because what they've been hearing is sending painful, ticklish pulses all the way down your spine?

Really?

Because I haven't.

Well, since that is out of our way...

So I recently wrote 2 postcard stories (which are intended to be no more than a page and a half) for my creative writing class, got them back, and was puzzled by the comments I received. I was wondering if I could hear back from a few of you with some suggestions and/or comments. One of the biggest questions I have is regarding the title... my comments deemed it 'too obvious'. Let me know what you think.

Heart Attack
Under. Around. Loop. Pull.
Under. Around. Loop. Pull.
            Her calloused fingers keep the steady rhythm she’s been practicing for over forty years. Her fingernails were always kept short for this crafty purpose, but now they’re just brittle, which keeps them short without the work. Her wrists twist and twirl and twist and twirl, copying the motion of the yarn.
            Under. Around. Loop. Pull.
            That’s how she taught our granddaughter. Sure, her fingers were much shorter, and fingernails much too long, but still she managed to get the hang of it eventually. My wife’s always been the best teacher, except I’m the one who mastered the lasagna recipe. I never attempted the knitting though, too tedious and complicated, not to mention, too womanly.
            Under. Around. Loop. Pull.
            This hobby, her craft, keeps her young, younger than me. I promise, she hasn’t aged since our wedding day, and she’s never been sick, either. I was the one who was sick. Always have been. She listens to the rhythm of my heart, records it in the log, and then continues on her latest afghan like clockwork. I love her routines. If only my heart would keep the same regimen. 
            Under. Around. Loop. Pull.
            I watch as her wrists and nimble fingers do what they’ve done a thousand times before. Twisting and twirling. I feel my heart do the same thing: twist and twirl. It doesn’t feel right, but I sit, watching her in my favourite chair. It does it again, but I ignore it, mesmerized by the yellow yarn weaving in an out, between the needles. Again, twist and twirl.
            Under. Around. Loop. Pull.
            Her rhythm mimics the monitor beside me, keeping track of my heart. I wake up from my nap, and she still sits beside me, knitting. Everyday she comes to visit me; catches the bus and winds up beside my hospital bed in my favourite chair. Everyday, it’s always the best part. Like I’ve never been sick.
            Under. Around. Loop. Pull.

Donuts for Benny

So my wonderful weekend of spending time with some best friends has come to a rather rainy close. However, over the weekend I happened to purchase the most amazing Christmas CD: VeggieTunes Christmas Album. Yes, VeggieTales, I still listen and enjoy the voices of Larry and Mr. Lunt. My favourite so far is  Donuts for Benny. (Click the link to check it out).

The CD was only one highlight of my weekend... GASP! You're thinking She can have more than one wonderful event in a single wonderful weekend! Ya, basically, I can. And the second greatest (not second as in runner up, but second as in the 2nd one I'm telling you about) event of my weekend was decorating our apartment with all of my Christmas decorations! Yes, ladies! I WON the feat against my anti-Christmas-until-December-1st husband. The tree is up! So I owe you all for petitioning along side me :)

And because I'm the victor, I just have to share a few pictures with you all:

So the tree with a few basic trimmings: Ribbon and lights. 
That's right, Mom, ribbon. I learn well.




Finished tree! Complete with my love of traditional angel tree topper and coordinating ornaments. That's right, Mom, coordinated. Again, I learned well.


My lovely wrapped bedroom door. You'll notice the colour combination: Purple and gold to match the tree :)

Ok people...I'm almost down and out for the count when it comes to school work. I currently have NO motivation to finish assignments, prepare for exams, or lead group discussions on the social classification of preterm babies in the North American culture (True story, I have to do that next week). BUT because my blog is all about finding happy things among the most suckiest of times, I'll attempt to gain a little traction for the next three weeks.

So, here are a few 'strawberry daiquiri's' I have to look forward to:

1) THIS WEEK: One of my BFF's and her hubby will be arriving Wednesday for a weekend stay in our second bedroom, or as I like to call it: The Braun B&B. There may or may not be Christmas decorating involved in our...spontaneous...weekend plans. So: Shout out to Miranda and Wayne for already making my week better!!

2) THIS MONTH: I will complete and hand my ONLY paper that focuses on the language prescription of road signs and why its wording is incredibly important to the most absurd, and unprepared drivers of the Lower Mainland. For the Fort St. Johner's who are right now saying, "No way! There are way worse drivers in FSJ!" Actually, no. People who have a entire truck box full of beer and/or other illegal truck box cargo no longer scare me. It's the 17 year-old mini-skirt wearer who --OMG[osh]-- got invited to a party and is texting all her friends while she is driving on the highway who scares me. So yes, I have that to look forward to.

3) THIS CHRISTMAS: A niece!! 'Nuf said.

4) FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE: Knitting. Even though I will probably develop incredibly bad arthritis in my wrists because of my new found hobby, it will bring me great joy. As much joy as a strawberry daiquiri would bring me at this very moment.

Young Marriage

TWO blogs in one day. Lucky you! And, I didn't even have to write it :) 

Courtesy of Kirsten*:

*This actually happened. She was an eye witness.


*fireworks heard outside, about 6 consecutively*
Whitney: RYAN!! What's going on!! I told you there were too many gunshots around here!
Ryan: Whitney, they are going like this, 'wwwwwwoooooooo POP!', that means they're fireworks.
...Whit: Well I'm going to look.
Ryan: OK, yea, go on the deck and look.
*they both go out to the deck*
Whit: Ryan, I need a bullet proof vest.
Kirsten: out loud laughter
*they come back inside, Whit sits down on the couch with me*
Whit: Ryan, can you get me my knitting?
Ryan: We'll see
*he brings the knitting*
Whit: Thanks honey. What are you doing? Watching the bigbangtheory?
Ryan: No, I'm done that.
Whit: Well then what are you doing?
Ryan: Taking up drugs.

Hello, fellow whos!! I just wanted to inform you that I purchased all of my Christmas decorations yesterday...You should see what's left at Canadian Tire... not even a crumb too small for a mouse! Just kidding! However, I did buy Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! Drums!Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums!

Ha! Again, kidding, although I could use a plum...not implying anything for those of you willing to take that comment too far. Since our budget is about the same size as above said crumb, that is not the case. I did, however, purchase all my tree trimmings, along with matching wrapping paper, ribbon, lights, stockings, tea towels, and of course, Mrs. Clause's apron. Obviously, with all that Christmas baking I plan on doing, I can't do it in any ordinary apron (beside the 'Mrs' one I got from Katie :D ). Plus, I did all this shopping for under $20! Thank you, wedding gift cards!

Ryan is still trying to make me wait until December 1st before anything goes up, but I think that is absolutely unfair, seeing that we will be traveling to Florida, then returning to FSJ for the latter part of December and beginning third of January. I would only be able to marvel in my Christmas splendor for two weeks! Did you hear me, people! TWO WEEKS. Excluding sleep time, shower time, cooking time, peeing time, and homework, that's like 30 seconds. With an extra two weeks under my belt, I can chalk that up to an entire minute. Need I say more?

Abbotsford rain has hit, people. Needless to day, I'm unenthusiastic about the whole idea. Therefore, I must find other ways of coping, like staring out the window in hopes strike down to stupid, rainy cloud with my evil glare. (Pretend that I have laser eyes like Superman)...

It's not working, if you're interested.

However, I managed to stumble upon a not-so-long ago way of easing the mind: Elaine dancing.


Please, click here before I explain any further.

Now, wasn't that just the most incredible choreography?! I dare you to try. I guarantee that you're brain will rattle enough to forget all about the rain. Just be sure you use enough thrust when you kick to achieve the overall goal of shaking your skull. Without that extra horsepower, you'll probably just end up with another headache. For that, I recommend a dark room and a couple of Tylenol.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some dancing to do for the next 4 months or so.

Vicks Schmicks

I have a cold. It sucks.

Ever since I can remember, Vicks always seemed to do the trick and cure the cold, and this week, it still proves true...thus far.

Let me explore the ways of how my parents have used Vicks in the past to cure their whiny, ill, sleepless children from the yearly cold virus.




1) The classic: Smear the goop across my neck, tickling the crap out of me all the while. Then folding a tea towel in thirds (yes, it MUST be thirds), wrapping it loosely around my neck to create more heat...therefore, more fumes...therefore, clean nasal passages.

2) My personal LEAST favourite: the smear under the nose. If this method proved ineffective of congestive relief, it would be issued as one of the most effective interrogation tactics for the Special Ops. No joke.

3) The Vicks Tent: If you don't know what I'm talking about, you've missed out on a huge part of life. It was the one legitimate reason I had to build a fort in my room WHILE skipping school. After boiling a pot-full of water, add a glob of Vicks, shove it into your child's 'fort' and Viola! Potent Steam Tent!

After doing a bit of research on Vicks, I found myself reading the warning label. It reads as follows:

1) For external use only. Do not place in nostrils. What if my mom accidentally grazed the inside of my nostril!? I could have died from that little bit of penetration. They would have had to call Poison Control!....I repeat, POISON. CONTROL. 

2) To avoid possibility of fire, never place VapoRub in boiling water or expose to an open flame.  Umm...hello? Never place in boiling water? All this time I was risking the possibility of FIRE containing the most potent goop on the planet. Awesome. 


So thanks, Mom and Dad, for risking my life. I hope to one day follow suit and cure my children's colds with these methods.


To be clear: I will still make forts in my room and create Vicks Tents. I like to live on the edge.

W is for Weeds

For all of you who weren't at my wedding, I wanted to share the most amazing Maid-of-Honour speech that has ever graced this earth. :) So kudos, Carissa.

I would now like to encourage all of you to take a pee break, as this speech may induce involuntary bladder leakage. If you don't have to pee now, I insist you click the title of the post which will bring you to a web page filled with wondrous sounds of trickling water. :)

Now, on to the speech!!

I have known Whitney for probably about 11 years, although we have not been close friends for that long. Whitney and I did not get off to the greatest start necessarily but over the years we developed a close friendship, especially in the last four years. When Whitney first told me that I would be writing a speech, I was trying to think of all the embarrassing stories that I could think of to include, but I realized that most of those embarrassing stories that I have about her also include me! So don’t worry Whitney this shouldn’t be too embarrassing.

I decided write my toast as an acrostic that includes a trait or an item that I associate with Whitney for each letter of her name.

W is for weeds. Most of you probably know that Whitney works in the summer for her dad’s spraying company so she has grown very fond of weeds over the last couple of summers. So when you travel with her, you learn all about the weeds on the side of the road while you are driving. A few weeks ago we went to Grande Prairie and while we were driving 100 km/hour down the highway she’s pointing out weeds on the side of the road!

H is for honesty. Whitney is a very honest person and will tell you how she feels. I appreciate Whitney’s honesty because you know what Whitney thinks and you know that what she says is how she feels.

I is for intelligence. Whitney is an incredibly smart person. I was in many of her classes in high school and college and I saw this first hand. To prove this, Whitney is going to University taking Sociology and English.

T is tenacious. Whitney is very determined and when she wants something and it means something for her she will go for it.

Never a dull moment. Life with Whitney is never dull especially when Whitney and I are together. I definitely enjoy our laughing and loud times that we have together. You could probably put Whitney and I in an empty room and we would find something fun to do.

E is escapade. Whitney might not remember this story, but quite a few years ago I slept over at Whitney’s house and the next morning we decided to go on a quad ride since me being the city girl I didn’t ride quads very often. So we rode through one of their fields and as we were driving we noticed a truck that was slowing down and a guy was poking his head out the window and staring. Whitney decided that we should hide so we parked the quad right there in the middle and ducked in behind some “bushes.” The problem was that this was October and the particular bush that we chose did not have many leaves left on it. Also we happened to have left our huge purple and white helmets on. So there we were peering through the sticks at this guy as he drove down the road. After he finally left, we got out of the bush, hopped on the quad and drove away laughing like nothing had happened.

And finally y is for yarn and not yarn as in knitting. The yarn I am thinking of is to tell a tale or a story. For those of you who don’t know Whitney very well she is very creative and has great story telling abilities, or should I say story writing abilities. I think Whitney could publish some of her stories, and yes Whitney I am thinking of the Bob the Buffalo story we created but don’t worry I won’t say anything more about that.

Whitney I am incredibly proud and honoured to be able to stand up here for you today on your special day and I’m also proud to call you my friend. I wish you and Ryan the best as you start your new life together. Congratulations . 

Ok, so I could have warned you to bring some Kleenex too. My bad.

Hey, all! Since obviously you're all dying to see which pumpkin idea I chose, here's a picture of it:

 Mario!!








This last weekend, I FINALLY got all of my wedding edits :D So I'll share a few with you! Don't be shy with your compliments ha ha ha



I LOVE LOVE LOVE the colours of this picture! I just can't seem to get over the scenery in the background. I was so glad I chose our farm as the location for the photo shoot.



You may not know it, but I'm a huge fan of stain glass windows. Therefore, I love this photo :D



 So basically, these are a few of Fort St John's best looking men. Also, they hire out under the name 'A-Team', if you're into that sort of thing. Just sayin'.







 Can you believe that my dad wanted to burn this shed before the wedding so our yard wouldn't be so ugly? Me neither! The photographer actually said he wanted to buy it for future weddings. Ha! Take that future brides of FSJ!



This is my FANTASTIC cake made by none other than Krista Reimer :) (Krista, you owe me for this plug :P)

 My 'guest canvas' turned out awesome. I loved that even the kids signed it! Especially, Dayna's signature: the GIANT sun below the R.



 Props, Wayne. May I also mention Carissa's line: "W is for Weeds" Thank you for that.
 


Think it. Feel it. Catch it.




My home girls! Woot! Woot!

Pick My Pumpkin!

I need your help, folks!! Every year I do a different pumpkin carving in October, usually showcased in my mama-in-law's classroom. However, I haven't actually asked her about this year yet. Ha ha. Anyways, not sure what to carve this year. So....you pick!! I'll give you a few options and you can let me know which one you would like. Most votes gets the pumpkin!

Option 1: Mario



















Option 2: Despicable Me
Option 3: Despicable Me Mignon

OR Option 4: Transformers


So if you happen to hate all of these ideas, please give me more. I'm completely open to them, as I have been looking for cool ideas for over an hour and no longer want to carve a pumpkin...




It's her birFday, YO!

It's my MAMA'S birthday today!! WHAT?! She is blankity-blank years young :) So I decided it's RAP time!!

(I'll need you to beat box on this one, please) If not, I'll have to get Mike or Amber to do it.

For the Mama's in the House

She drives a nice car
and golfs to get par!
Her hair is brown, blonde and edgy
She likes to give old man wedgies, *NOT!
Stiletto's so tall, to walk through that mall
Dad's Visa is swiped, and he is wiped
It's her birthday today
She's cool by the way
But she won't it cake
Calories does not a babe make
She's going on a cruise
With nothing to lose
What?!
She'll be a grandma soon
To the baby she'll swoon
She'll by her Guess jeans
Until she's in her teens
She'll party without me
But here, this is the key:
It won't be a party without a Whitney!
Check it.


 *You'll know what this is about when you read her blog...

Plus, Mama started a blog. Click the title of this post to check it out :)

Happy Birthday, Mama Bear!

So with a little editing help from the mom-in-law, I finally finished! I hand it in tomorrow. Polite suggestions only, please. I'm trying to preserve what sanity I have left :)

So take five.

 
Rubber-Soled Mary Jane’s
Typically, the rooster would have crowed by now, but he must have slept in. Through my leafy foliage, I watched as the morning sun peeked over the most northern snowcap. My leaves began to take on colour again as the light penetrated their surface. They became alert and stiff to the touch. The night’s dew slid down their veins and dripped to the ground, landing in a puddle created between two of my grainy roots: a perfect place for birds and squirrels to bathe. As the breeze swept in, it brought the scent of late night boozing and early morning chores up from the valley. The wind wasn’t fast enough to blow the stench by, and the manure brought up a bad aftertaste.
The shady, chilly patch underneath my branches created shadows along the gravel path that would have scared anyone half to death. Too bad there were no visitors at this hour. As the warmth finally reached my bark, I felt the pain of the latest carvings. Sure, you could go about stabbing the name of your latest infatuation into my skin, but at least respect a little of a tree’s dignity. Now, ‘R plus K equals heart’ will stay with me forever. That’s a tattoo my mom would be proud of.
            Rooted down for the last one hundred twenty-three years, I’ve watched four hundred ninety-two seasons come and go, along with thousands of people, each with their own tales to tell. I watched as these masses came daily, each one pacing, talking, sharing, and snoozing under my leafy shade. But soon enough, I’ve forgotten their faces and their stories, all becoming the same after a while. Maybe today will be different. It is the first day of summer, after all.
            They’re always commenting on the view. They come up here, the wrinkled and the refreshed, the lean and the stout, the wide-eyed and the completely dull, and say, “I could get used it up here”. I’ll admit that it’s not a bad perspective. A quiet, grassy meadow amongst a colossal, panoramic mountain range is very ‘Sound of Music’ if you ask me. It’s a suitable setting for young romance or reflecting on lost love, special family moments or distraught loneliness. It does the trick, and here I am smack dab in the middle of it all.
I waited for my first guest.
            A young boy arrived soon after my shade passed over the eastern trail, along with a young pup no larger than my newest branch. Ah, the smell of adolescence and wet dog! After frolicking in the birdbath, the pup marked his territory on the only bare spot of my aging trunk, and the boy simply ignored this acidic deed, keeping his attention on the smooth stone collection he was angling into the back pocket of his torn overalls. Through my dangling stems, I saw him reach for something, a toy maybe, in his front pouch, and immediately, my alarm bell began to ring. A slingshot! Those blasted things! This is not the ideal way to start off a summer. I shut my eyes and hoped that my stiff branches would cover up my ‘sensitive areas’ as best they could, but there was no telling of the damage that weapon could do.
            Just as I glimpsed through the branches, he raised his homemade weapon; his elbow locked into place beside his ear, grazing his fine, blonde hair. He slid a smooth, gray pebble inside the leather swatch, pinching it between his thumb and index finger. He was aimed right at the tip of my branch, squinting, and as my eyes wandered to his target, I spotted a robin clutched to woody offshoot.
            The boy fired the stone.
            In horror, I gaped as the robin fell to the ground with a thud. Plunk!
            “Yeah! Alright!” the boy shouted, thrusting his fist into the air. He rushed under my branches and scooped up the fallen bird with a swift motion. He pinched both wings and stretched the bird out, and then he pretended to make it fly. He threw the corpse right at my trunk and it hit the scratchy bark and fell to the ground.
 I looked away and contemplated the incident and found myself wondering if perhaps the bird had dependents, like kids, or something. How would they survive? I had never felt this emotion before. Normally, I would have laughed off the episode like a practical joke, but this time, I couldn’t come back with some sort of witty response.
 Sap dripped for my lowest knot.
The sun hits its peak in the noon blue, and the boy collected a few more pieces of ammo. After smearing the sweat over his brow, buttoning his torn pocket, and leashing his smelly pup, he continued down the hill towards the valley. Convincing myself that he was done preying on innocent for the day, I reveled in the sun, feeling new, green buds emerge on my highest branches. Just another story I had to forget. I wondered if this summer would turn out to be like every other: forgetful, uninspired, and ignorant.
A gentle wind blew through the hills as the day’s temperature began its steady rise. I took pleasure in the whispering it created amongst the trees, as my fellow oaks passed messages through the currents. That’s how we communicate, you know. Today, we fell upon a discussion regarding the latest rebel who decided to join his trunk with a poplar, and it was able to take my mind off of the pathetic morning happenings. But soon after the wind died down, my forlorn state returned.
As the heat continued to climb, I became more and more aware of the lifeless robin pinned amid my roots. Sympathy reappeared to my morbid thoughts, and I wished this wasn’t the last way he would be seen. Everyone deserved better than that. He deserved recognition, a monument even, of how his last moments were cheerful and filled with delight. A monument of him sitting on my limb, taking in the fresh summer fragrances, whistling to his heart’s content, but instead he laid there still, departed, disregarded. Poor bird.
I fell into my afternoon slumber, sad.
I was awakened by the most angelic, tranquil sound of the sweetest giggle that escaped from my next visitor’s mouth. A giggle so soft and spontaneous that it was able to lift my spirits even a smidge. My eyes grazed the grassy horizon until I spotted a pink jumper and little white tights prancing up and down through the waving grass. My guest.
Her dark brown pigtails and guiltless dimples radiated joviality, and her laugh continued to break down my dark emotion and reveal a hopeful beam visible through my bright green foliage. I could tell her mind was filled with only buoyant thoughts of nature’s beauty, dress-up dolls, and sidewalk chalk. The smear of a leftover chocolate snack found on her cheek confirmed her nonchalant demeanor as she skipped underneath my shade. She was memorable already.
This one seemed different; she seemed to respect the natural world, unlike the rest of them. But still, as she crouched low and plucked the robin’s corpse from the makeshift gravesite, I held my breath. The bird had been through enough. It would be horrible if he’s family every found out that he was used as a target and a toy. But gracefully, the child swept her palm against the chick’s back in such a way it might have even brought him back to life. Gentle, rhythmic, and filled with compassion. She was about to do what I couldn’t: give him the burial he deserved.
As she clutched the robin, her eyes scanned the base of my trunk for the most appropriate and respectful spot to make a gravesite. I saw as her steady eyes rested on a narrow groove between two of my hardiest roots. Perfect. Gently, she lifted her toes and laid her foot into the groove, and with her rubber-soled Mary Jane’s, she began to dig. And dig. And dig. Soon enough, as the sun began its descent below the clouds, below the snowcap, the grave was ready. The girl stooped to her ankles and tucked the bird between the safety of my diminutive fortress, where he would lay in peace away from the harm of any homemade slingshot.
As she scooped the dirt back over the peaceful robin, I couldn’t help but knowing that this moment was the most memorable of all. She, along with her rubber soles, would cling to my memory for the next one hundred and twenty-three years.
 
 

Well, friends, Glee is back...TONIGHT!!! :D :D :D

Unfortunately, there is an extraordinarily yappy dog in the condo next to ours who CONSTANTLY throws tantrums while the owners aren't home. Surprisingly, this can be quite disturbing while trying to accomplish something that is due in only a few hours. So, I came up with a solution.












Step 1. Open iTunes.
Step 2. Search 'Glee Soundtrack'
Step 3. Click Play.
Step 4. Do homework without wishing you had a fully stocked gun cabinet.
Step 5. Dance for your 10 min 'stretching' break.


There you have it folks! Glee is like Windex; it fixes everything!

Now for your enjoyment I have attached a link to the title of this blog. Click it and enjoy some Glee of your own :)

Crunch!



So my goal was to find a daisy in the dandelions, right? Well, I copied this straight from Facebook. Check it.

Christmas Crunch Your Friends (All-Time) High Score records for your friends
1 Whitney Braun 173816 pts
2 Ryan Braun 162836 pts
3 Michael Friesen 161122 pts
4 Carissa Riediger 160511 pts

5 Janelle Riediger 156253 pts

6 Patricia Guenther Wiebe 104372 pts

7 Carly Friesen 91445 pts

8 Danielle Truscott 84829 pts
9 Tyson Born 81325 pts

10 Faye Gunn 59413 pts

11 RudyCrystal Evans 57340 pts

12 Lynnette Potter 46240 pts

13 Bryanna Rundle 38160 pts

14 Travis Johannesson 36490 pts

15 Alice Daoust 32070 pts

16 Ezinne Patricia Ojuderi 26823 pts

17 Sarah Braun 19179 pts


This, of course, was done after the homework was....

Writing in Red Pen

Help! One of my very first assignments of this term to write a short story. No specifications, just a story. I started on this idea (which I'll show you in a minute), but I'm not sure where my conflict is coming from. Should it be internal or external? I need your suggestions! Please feel free to post comments as to what you think about the small start I have on this idea:


They’re always commenting on the view. They come up here, the wrinkled and the refreshed, the lean and the stout, the wide-eyed and the completely dull, and say, “I could get used it up here”. I’ll admit, it’s not a bad perspective. A quiet, grassy meadow amongst a colossal, panoramic mountain range is very ‘Sound of Music’ if you ask me. It’s a suitable setting for young romance or love lost, special family moments or distraught loneliness. It does the trick, and here I am smack dab in the middle of it all.
Rooted down for the last one hundred twenty-three years, I’ve watched four hundred ninety-two seasons come and go, along with thousands of people, each with their own tales to tell. I watched as these masses come daily, each one pacing, talking, sharing, and snoozing under my leafy shade. But soon enough, I’ve forgotten their faces and their stories, all becoming the same after a while. Maybe today will be different.
The same time the rooster crowed from down in the municipal valley, past my family of Oaks, over the dried up, sandstone-filled riverbed, the sun peaked over the summit of the most northern snowcap. As it rose into the blue abyss, I watched my dewy leaves drip gently on the ground below creating a puddle between two grainy roots: a perfect place for the birds and squirrels to bathe. As the warmth penetrated deeper into my bark, I could feel latest scratches carved by the inconsiderate ones. Sure, they felt to need to proclaim their latest infatuation, but it’s unnecessary to ruin a tree’s dignity. I waited for the first guest.
A young boy arrived soon after my shade passed over the eastern trail, along with a young pup no longer than my newest branch. Ah, the smell of adolescence and wet dog! After frolicking in the birdbath, the pup marked his territory on the only bare spot of my aging trunk, and the boy simply ignored this acidic deed, keeping his attention on the smooth stone collection he was angling into the back pocket of his torn overalls...

Candid Camera!

So I was looking through some photos that were taken during our wedding weekend with my camera, (Credits to Kirsten) and I came across some interesting pictures. Laughable, actually. So why not share on my blog?!

Photo #1:

This is Kirsten...eating her first ever grilled pineapple. Normally, her being a psych major and all, this pose would indicate deep philosophical thought; however, I'm not sure if this is her hating it or her actually in deep philosophical thought. You decide.





Photo #2:

Here, we all missed the memo...except for Brandon, of course. It looks to me like Rod ducked into an unexpected prayer, and Brandon was the only one who caught it. Shucks, I'll pay better attention next time.









Photo #3:


Ah, Carissa, how we love you! Either she wants to join the circus, as a one hit wonder with that dance move, or she was falling down the stairs. Carissa, care to clarify? I'm going with circus.










Photo #4:

What was that?! I just heard you break into song!









Now, enjoy sing Y.M.C.A. for the rest of your day. You can thank me later.

New Life, New Look

So as most of you are well aware, I'm a 'MRS' now! Braun. Mrs. Braun. (Get it?...Bond, haha) Ryan is currently napping in the middle of the hotel room floor, and I'm bored; therefore, I blog.

Our wedding was absolutely fantastic for all of you who weren't there :) Besides my nerves reaching a level measured by the Ritcher scale before the ceremony, all was relaxed. Apparently, Ryan's nerves hit high gear when he stepped into the sanctuary and realized how much family he really had. (Basically, three-quarters of the guests were Braun's FYI) A few minor hiccups here and there, but no major drama scenes, such as my 10 minute bridezilla moment on Friday witnessed by my parents and Kirst. Don't worry, she had me on a timer; as soon as the 10 minutes was up, I was back to my normal, relaxed, bridal self. Ha! Who are we kidding?!

Whistler is great thus far, minus that fact that I forgot my camera cord. So you'll have to wait a bit longer before I upload any pictures. Oh, and I got my hair chopped off today. Actually. Like 5 inches. You don't believe me, do you? Neither did Ryan until I stepped out of the salon with and undercut reaching a slim 1.5 inches, and a length grazing the top of my shoulders. Ah! How great it feels to instantly lose 5 pounds!

Anyway, back to the renaming of the blog. As Carissa, among other wedding guests can recall, 'W' is for Weeds because I can pick out a 3 inch thistle plant in the ditch going a buck twenty down the divided highway. Thank you, Maid of Honour for pointing out one of my many useless talents. So I decided to switch it up and spot the daisies instead of the dandelions. I hope to keep it cheery and...well, weedless.

Well folks, 113 hours and counting! Woo!

As exciting as that sounds, I feel rather uninspired due to waiting. I finally finished what I can this weekend, and now, I just have to wait. And we all know that this chick lacks in patience skills like a bald man lacks hair. Yeah, it's true. So sadly, I don't have much to write about, but I felt the need to blog...basically, since I know you've all been waiting for my next post.

So just excuse me for this upcoming rant, of sorts. I've been wondering lately if this wedding is the same ol' same ol'. Because that would be lame. Seriously, lame. We've got the ceremony with the 'I do's', the reception with the tinkling champagne glasses, the cutting of the cake business, and the bouquet toss, which I'm sure my 11 year old cousin will snag because we all know that stands for reality, when actually, I have single friends dreaming of that bouquet landing in their un-ringed palm and leading them to their soulmate. Kirst, you know it's true. But today, I'm trying to convince myself that we're different. Here are my reasons:

-We have a guitar player, not a pianist. That's right, take your seats people. I'm going to knock your socks off.

-I'm not wearing a veil. Keep breathing.

-We're not videotaping our ceremony. Go get a glass of water, you're hyperventilating.

-We don't have a flower girl or ringbearer. Go back to the kitchen and grab a paper bag, you're still hyperventilating.

-We are entering our reception to a rather risky number, instead of trumpets and horns. In and out. In and out. Slower!

-We have a purple cake. Not white. Get up off the floor! I'm not done yet!

-Finally, we do NOT have an open bar. Full on cash, people! Ok, I'm going to have to ask you to go lay down. It's for your own safety.

So, uhhh, see you Saturday?

So I got this email from Ryan the other because he "thought it was funny". Funny, my butt. It was a list of RULES that men have, since apparently, woman also have a set of RULES. Let me share a few of the ones that caught my attention:

1. Crying is blackmail.

2. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

3. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

4. Whenever possible, please say whatever you want during commercials.

5. Christopher Columbus did not need directions. Neither do we.

6. When we have to go somewhere, anything you wear is fine...really.

7. You have to many shoes.

8. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.

9. If we ask what is wrong and you say, "nothing", we'll act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.

10. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

So after much searching, I've found a few good rules to counter these absurdities. Take a look:

1. The correct answer to, "Do I look fat?" is never, "Yes".

2. A "meh" is seldom an answer to any question.

3. Don't assume PMS is the cause for every bad mood.

4. No means No. Yes means Yes. Silence could mean anything she feels like at that particular moment in time, and it could change without notice.

5. My haircut is never bad.

6. Two words: clean socks.

7. You can be wrong.

8. You can be sorry.


Take that men.

Baked!

Well, since it's exactly 6:20 am, and I'm up, I might as well blog, right?...please, disregarding all grammatical errors, it's early.

I had my final bridal shower on Wednesday! Yay! Over 30 ladies from the church came, which made it feel very...womanly. Haha I had no idea where I was going with that. Anyways, after opening over 20 gifts, I realized I have some much needed learning to do in the baking department. Don't get me wrong, I can bake...from a mix. Actually, that's not true, I make a mean chocolate chip cookie. But seriously, I got over SIX baking pans!! Meaning, "Hey Whitney! Get your butt in gear, and fatten up your future hubby!" Honestly people, how am I supposed to fill up SIX pans at the same time?! I'll be lucky if I use one! Not to say that I'm unappreciative, I just have no idea how to make use of all 6. The only thing I can think of is tearing down a whole rhubarb plant from my mother's garden and passing out rhubarb crisp to the entire community!

Any takers?

Can't-Elope


Ok, people, I'm done!...with planning that is! I'm giving up, and we're eloping! Yahoo! :D
Actually, it's true. Ryan and I already looked into a nice little...place...not too far from home that will suit this little adventure quite perfectly. But, obviously, the whole point of eloping is NOT to tell you the location of this said marriage spot. So I will leave it completely up to your imaginations.
See, this whole wedding planning this is turning into way too many man hours of tedious labour. Life would be much easier had I not been stuck in the house ironing 26 table overlays these pasts 2 weeks. Also, the cost of eloping....CHEAP!! So that's pretty much awesome.

...that picture is making me hungry, and I just got completely sidetracked. What was I talking about? Oh yeah! How excited I was about getting a teapot from Kirsten as our wedding gift.

See you guys at the wedding!

...betcha I totally had you reeling! I can just picture you coming up with persuasive arguments to keep me here. You can tell me anyway. It will probably help.

So courtesy of my awesome and gLeeky friend, Sarah, and her marvelous package that arrived a few days ago, I have decided it's time for another rap. So she made me a CD with a bunch of Glee soundtracks, one of them being Vanilla Ice's 'Ice Ice Baby'. That song has now been stuck in my head from about...37 hours, which made me think, "DUDE!! I should rap on my blog again". So there you have it folks. Grab those 80s shades, a baggy jersey, and an attitude. Same drill as last time: You must rap this OUT LOUD.

Yo, STOP!
Collaborate and listen!
Whit is back and she needs your attention
She needs your replies
Don't forget meal choice applies
Prime Rib or Chicken
Potato or Rice
Gotta choose what you're lickin'
Both are nice
So throw her an email, a text, or a call
She needs those replies
That includes all!
You don't got no more time
To squeeze this lime
So get to it, yo!
Won't cost you a dime!
...wait, I still want gifts
Check it.

Well, you've noticed that I've changed my blog, yet again. Not just because I'm ADD...but don't entirely discard that idea. Rather, because of my new outlook. Through euphoric lenses, that is.

People, I just don't care anymore! The wedding will come together, so if the lanterns fall on the pastor, we spill our unity sand, I stain my dress, and the cake flops, I just don't care. Maybe a little about the dress. I've got 47 more days until I tie the knot, and to me, that doesn't seem like enough time to balance stress and detail micromanagement. So I'll compromise. My goal: get MOST of the tedious list done before the wedding. I don't think my guests will notice if I'm missing 2 out of 7 paper lanterns hanging from the ceiling, or iridescent ribbon from my mother's wristlet.

I think this new attitude stemmed from too much ironing. Folks, I've ironed 150 8' chair sashes and only 2 table overlays in the last 3 days...and I'm still not even close to finishing. Please, understand.

Oh, I totally thought of a better one-liner for the previous post under the cake picture:
'The Biggest Loser called: they're sending repo men.'

So friends, I've come to understand that planning a 'dream' wedding is next to impossible unless you have a team of 1000 and a budget of, oh I don't know, $3 million. Meaning, if I happen to win the Lotta Max next week, you will see all of this at my wedding.
However, don't mistake me as ungrateful. After researching a few trumping ideas, I realized this is totally unrealistic and, well, stupid.

Exhibit A:

Fireworks.

There is so many things wrong with this idea. All I can think of is whoever I hire to light these things will lose all arm and eyebrow hair. That's a given. Besides it being a fire hazard, this ash-y idea does not fall within the budget.

Exhibit B:


A super-sized centerpiece.

So let me fill you in on a little detail. One of this suckers will set you back about $300 bucks. Let's multiply that by our 26 tables. A grand total of: $7800. I think not. I'll go with my idea...much nicer, and MUCH less.

Exhibit C:

The Belfry of Baked Goods.

People, who honestly needs a cake this size covered in a thousand roses? Unless you were a duke's daughter, a dream such as this should not even be considered. Plus, the grocery story called: they want their butter stock refilled.

2 down, 1 to go!

That's right! Another bridal shower today...minus the 'surprise' element. Hee hee. This time though it was hosted by a Pampered Chef consultant. See, here's the thing, when I first heard of Pampered Chef, I think of this.

False. Our consultant was fabulous! Although the jalapeno pizza poppers were a little warm (and no, I don't mean spicy...AKA: crispy), no sunscreen was required. Meaning: no tanning. Meaning: happy Whitney. Anyways, because of the wonderful people in attendance, I get FREE stuff!! Wooo! I'm a Mennonite; therefore, I strive toward attaining anything FREE, even if it means scoring a deal where I end up being soaked for a cool $50. Sad, I know, but I call it thrifty and/or moochy. :)

Moving on. I get $65 of FREE goods, PLUS 2 items at 50% off! In Pampered Chef lingo, that means 'You and your guests must spend $400 combined total on exact 27 items of stoneware, while choosing 3 different size paring knives, along with an apple slicer and vegetable peeler to qualify for the above deal'. TRANSLATION: FREE STUFF!!!

So, thank you, ladies! From the bottom of my wallet!

About Me

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British Columbia, Canada
Married and Sassy. That's really all I'm willing to tell you.

About this blog

The purpose: to ease my boredom and to find things that make me happier- AKA less whiny.

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